Instead of relating to people we relate to ideas of people. This causes us to either want to fix people (get them to believe or behave in a manner we think is "right") or pity people (either heartfelt pity with inactive concern or prideful comparative pity). We not only box others in but we box ourselves in as well. "He's a this. She's a that. I'm a this. I'm a that.." Instead of getting to know ourselves & others we choose ideas & ideals we like (or are told to like) & conform ourselves to them. Whoever doesn't conform to what we choose to believe is evil/wrong/needs to be fixed/is to be pitied. So we end up living in a shadow of the world where we are always comparing & calculating others instead of learning about them & embracing them.
People aren't selfish because we are inherently evil or because we have a "sin nature." People are selfish because they feel (whether true or not) that, "I am the only one who values me."
The less loved someone feels the more likely they are to be grabby & self-centered. However there is a part we'd rather not realize because it would expose our beliefs & institutions as ineffective. The less loved someone feels the more likely they are to be giving & apparently selfless because they are always trying to earn love from others (love cannot be earned or it ceases to be love). So many of the kind & gentle are actually the least well adjusted people. They strive to protect themselves from rejection because, unlike the first group, they are unable to love themselves thus they end up attaching their value to the opinions of others.
They run into brick walls when doing things for people who do not appreciate what they do. It is worse to serve ungrateful people than it is to do no serving at all because ungrateful people will make you bitter & angry. But being a "people pleaser" results in people being grateful for what you do for them instead of appreciating who you are thus you end up feeling just as rejected & alone as the selfish thief or the thug.
Don't put your ideas into other people's heads. I suggest that you have to stop caring about people in order to see the people who care about you, you have to stop USING yourself & just start BEING yourself. You may end up mostly alone but you can stop presenting yourself as an idea of a person & instead be a real person. The problem is others have to do this too. And very few of us want to simply be. Most of us want to achieve, strive, grow.. in other words go in the opposite direction of what will really change us for the better. In order to truly "get better" you have to realize you are good to begin with. Not that your job is good, your ideas are good, your ideals are good, your beliefs are good, your knowledge is checked, correct, & good, but that YOU are good. Not even the person who loves you most in this world can make you believe that if you don't want to.
God knows you're good but most of the people who claim to know God will tell you that God only wants to know you so He can FIX you & USE you for HIS glory. If you embrace those ideas you'll just believe in an idea of a god & still live fatherless. Everyone can be replaced by an idea, by beliefs. This happens when the heart that longs to be known is led by the head that longs to know, whether true or false it doesn't care it just wants to breed certainty to "puff" itself up. It puffs up because inflation is temporary. Love builds up because love never ends, love is permanent. If knowledge is your means to receive love you'll just end up with dead facts, beautiful as they may seem.
Reality is not an idea alone, it is reality. Participate in reality instead of postulating about reality. Stop puffing up your beliefs about people & start being WITH people. Stop postulating about A god & just sit with your daddy.
