A lot have talked about what it means to be a real MAN with the emphasis always being on man. But a real man is a REAL man, someone who is willing to be honest with himself & with others. In his honest understanding of others he seeks first to protect & promote others because of their reality rather than protect or promote himself. He seeks not to carelessly express his feelings but he instead seeks to express his feelings with care. A real man is real, not at the expense of others, but for their benefit so all involved can live in an open honest reality free of fear.
Roles can work against reality. Many try to manipulate reality to fit themselves or others into roles. Instead of getting to know one another we impose one another into roles that have been defined by our culture, media, religions, & the families we grew up in. So instead of seeing OTHERs' needs & desires we see OUR role or their role as fulfilled or unfulfilled. Instead of preparing with wisdom & learning by experience we impose a template. The templates are supposed to be universal (or at least societal) but in being so the templates genuinely fit no one.
You only know yourself when you stop trying to become someone else. You only know others when you stop expecting them to be or become someone else. So instead of TRYING TO BE a "good" man, woman, wife, husband, parent, child, brother, sister, christian, neighbor, person etc. just BE yourself. As long as you respect others enough to let them be themselves too you'll have few problems. And if you choose to get to know others for who they are (rather than what they do or could do for you) that is when life gets interesting.