When you know God's love, you will simply love the right way. Much of the New Testament was written to specific people with specific problems. We shouldn't impose their weaknesses upon ourselves. It is like a non-smoker taking advice on how to quit smoking. For someone who has never smoked chewing nicotine gum does no good. Sadly most approach the bible this way. Regardless of if they share the struggle mentioned in a scripture people condemn themselves as if they must have that struggle simply because scripture said people struggled with that. People are worse off trying to obey scriptures that have nothing to do with them than they are if they ignored those scriptures all together.
I remember many times in churches being told that you need to question your salvation..
if you're not in a trial or coming out of a trial
if God doesn't regularly “take you to the woodshed" to beat you
To put those in other words, you need to question your salvation..
if you don't get mega-stressed in life to where you see everything as a trial & life as utter suffering
if you don't feel guilt & shame regularly (also called being “broken")
How are such lies justified? Like this..
When you don't feel guilty you must be especially guilty because you don't even recognize it.
If God isn't beating you it is because he has put you on the shelf (As if life were all about being ”used by God” as a tool, we aren't tools, don't let someone call you a tool).
I'm still told things like this today,
“Saying you don't struggle with the flesh is like saying you don't breathe.” Really? The bible says, “we wrestle not against FLESH & blood" thus if we struggle with the flesh something is wrong with our mindset. I have a victorious spirit. The bible teaches self control (spirit control over the flesh) it does not teach “death to self" or self degradation.
“God gets greatly offended at you for your behavior." Really? Offend means, ”to make angry.” ON THE BLOOD OF HIS OWN SON God promised to never be angry with me again (Isaiah 54:9-10, Matthew 26:28, Colossians 1:20). That takes care of the whole woodshed non-sense too. When ever I heard ”God whoops you or you aren't his kid” I thought to myself, “God doesn't do that to me maybe I'm not a Christian." Then I had to remind myself of how He saved me by grace & lovingly proved Himself to me over the years.
I've heard other people talk about being told the lie, “if things go wrong you must be in sin & God is punishing you." I believed that to some extent but I was also told the lie, “if things are going right for too long you need to question your salvation.“ What kind of sick messed up religious garbage is that? “If anything goes wrong it is your fault & God is punishing you for what you've done. But if things go right.. you need to question your salvation because you should ALWAYS be going through trials.“ That may sound “double minded" but in fact it is single minded, it is 100% condemnation! My heart never wanted to believe these lies but my mind felt like it should. Thank God for His truth which leads to freedom!
I typically hold back from speaking from personal experience & opinion but I don't care right now because I hate the bondage of lies so much. I've never told someone not to go to church because they need to listen to God & not to me. But deep inside I honestly believe that you cannot go to an institutional church service without being poisoned in some way every single time. As time goes on I become more & more convinced of that.