We get it wrong right from the start saying, "God is holy so He must punish sin." Most take holy to mean good, moral, righteous.
Does a good man punish those who offend him?
Does a moral man have to kill someone to satisfy his anger (wrath) so he can be able to forgive others?
Does a righteous man get so offended at his children that he kills his oldest to diffuse his anger so he won't kill all of his kids?
The problem is God has been painted foremost as a judge, not as a Father. Jesus came to show us the FATHER!