Better to Be Single or Married? OR Why I Don't Believe Much of 1 Corinthians 7

Get ready to shoot me because in this post I criticize something written by Paul the Apostle & challenge the idea that everything in the NT is true. Time to crack the head of the whole 'Paul said it was better to be single' thing in 1 Corinthians 7. Several times Paul says he is only expressing his opinion on the matter.

V6 Paul said, "I say these things by permission" Meaning God gave him the freedom to say them but did not command him to say them.
V7 Paul says, "I wish that all men could be single as I myself am."
V12 Paul says, "I'm saying this, not the Lord.."
V25 Paul says, "I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion.."
V32 Paul says, "I want you to be free from concern.."
V40 Paul says, "In my opinion a woman is happier if she remains unmarried"

I'll be honest, in this chapter Paul uses some very non-relational language particularly in verses 23-25. Those of us who are happily married & have children may find what he says distasteful, upsetting, & sad. At the end Paul says, "this has been my opinion but I think that I also have the Spirit of God." You sure do Paul, that's why God had you make it clear that you were expressing your opinion rather than His. God loves marriages & children. He loves us through them & even pictures His relationship with us as both the Father's children & Jesus's bride.

In verse 7 Paul says His singleness is a "gift from God" & that other people have different gifts from God. Of course a good wife or a good husband is a gift from God as well (Proverbs 18:22). Romans 12:6 says, "We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us." Grace means "favor." Grace is God's love for you. "We have gifts that differ according to the love given to us by God." This means God looks at who we are & what we like. As a lovingly wise Father He gives gifts to His children according to their personalities. Because God's children are not all the same He loves each one of us differently for our benefit & enjoyment. So it is not better to be single but neither is it better to be married. What is best is what is best for you & your Father knows what is best for you. Despite the insistence of religion God doesn't force you to be something you don't want to be. If you trust God you'll get what you want whether to stay single or get married..

If you're a romantic that wants to ruffle some one's feathers, next time someone asks you if you believe in the whole bible or that the whole bible is inerrant just say, "No. I don't believe in parts of 1 Corinthians 7." I sure don't. So while this is a portion of scripture not written by the Holy Spirit at the same time it, to me at least, verifies that the Spirit wrote through Paul at other times. Why do I think this? Because Paul on his own had a very low opinion of marriage making it sound as if loving your spouse was somehow not also loving God at the same time, or that it limited how much you could love God. Yet later on in Ephesians 5 Paul writes by the Spirit about the eternal parallel of marriage & the relationship & love Jesus has with His people. Regarding that relationship He speaks of self-giving love, seeing each other as perfect & pure, voluntary cooperation, healing, respect, regard, rejoicing in the truth together, caring for one another & cherishing one another.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35, "One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord."

Surprisingly Paul gets super religious here. Paul was wrong. He was short sighted, perhaps because he wasn't married at the time he wrote this. It DOES please the Lord for you to please your wife or your husband. Pleasing the Lord & pleasing your spouse aren't two separate things, they aren't divided into different categories. In chapter 13 Paul writes "love is not self-seeking." We know that God is love. Thus "things of the Lord" regard loving people. His #1 desire is that we trust Him & love one another. That is why Jesus repeatedly prayed for us in John 17 to be one as He & the Father are one. In marriage two become one. It is the ultimate relationship to accomplish the mutual love for one another that Jesus desired we have.

Paul makes it sound like it is impossible to be as "devoted to the Lord" while being married. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 gives us many reasons why "Two are better than one" & that "a cord of three strands is not quickly broken" referring to two people & the Lord. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). Marriage itself & loving your children are ways to be devoted to the Lord. Your family is not distractions to the Lord as Paul so inappropriately says they are. They are an avenue to His fatherly heart. I'm very surprised that, at this point in his life, Paul thought that people we love stand in the way of our devotion to the Lord. The fact is devotion to the Lord is devotion to people.

In V34 Paul even seems to suggest that a married woman's body is "less holy" than a virgin's. Wow.. Thankfully God only let Paul's opinions loose in this one place & by considering that fact we can learn a few things.

The Relationship is The Freedom

You have to know the truth to be experientially set free. That is the only thing that works. Know the truth & live in freedom in a relationship with God.

If you take the truth & use it to apply principles or as inspiration to keep rules you've missed freedom & the relationship. The freedom is the relationship. When you are set free you walk with God & whatever happens during that walk is unique to you & Him. Don't try to apply truth to your life, instead walk out the discovery & usefulness of that truth with God.

The line between dead religion & living in a relationship with God can be easy to cross. While you can teach people the truth about God's love you cannot teach people how to lived loved in their relationship with God.

You can be taught all about God but until you engage with Him, walk with Him, & hear the truth from Him what you hold as truth is nothing but a treadmill, a knowledge that gives you the illusion of walking in a relationship with Him. The treadmill will stop working for you in the right circumstances. When it stops working you're left wondering what you did wrong & questioning your relationship with God. God was with you the whole time & getting involved in your life where He could even though you walked on a treadmill. The problem was that you were tiring yourself out & getting nowhere. You weren't on a journey with Him, a journey where you walk, rest, & relate. The treadmill never stops & your beliefs set the constant speed but a journey with God is relaxing, fun, & includes rests.

 Jesus knew that everyone is different & that people would live in different times & in different places. That is one reason why He gave His Spirit. One size fits all at all times for all time instructions on living that work don't exist. Jesus gave us His spirit to walk with us, relate to us, & teach us tailored to all of the uniqueness of who we are. God is love, His Spirit is love so He will always guide us in love. He is the living constant. He is the only universal ingredient in the Christian life. BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH US we can face anything. Not because He said.. or because you should.. but BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH US!

This post inspired by this God Journey Podcast Episode

Great Scriptures for All Christians & Christian Groups

God is Love. God is not self seeking. (1 Corinthians 13:5/1 John 4:8)
Jesus says, "I reveal Myself to you so that in knowing Me you may have peace." (John 16:33)
God has stopped counting people's sins against them. (2 Corinthians 5:19)
God the Father loves you as much as He loves Jesus. Jesus loves you as much as the Father loves Him. (John 17:23,15:9)
Since God is for us God cannot also be against us. (Romans 8:31)
The Lord says, “I promise to never be angry with you or offended at you.“ (Isaiah 54:9)
Jesus says, “I do not call you my servants. I call you my friends. You are not God's servants. You are God's children.” (John 15:15/Galatians 4:7)

Nothing, including yourself, can separate you from the love of God. (Romans 8:35)
Jesus says, "I will never leave or forsake you. Look for me in your life because I will always be with you." (Hebrews 13:5/Matthew 28:20)
There is no fear in love. Love gets rid of fears. Fear involves punishment. Love does not punish. (1 John 4:18)
Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows He has made us innocent. (1 John 3:20)
Jesus says, "I will treat you with gentleness & humility. I will not make you feel like a slave & I will not make you fearful. I want to give you rest, wisdom, & ease." (Matthew 11:28-30/Romans 8:15)

Whoever trusts that Jesus is the Christ is born of God & is one spirit with Him. (1 John 5:1/1 Corinthians 6:17)
Because we have trusted in Christ Jesus who rose from the dead we are not in our sins, we are in Christ instead! He has perfected our spirits forever & is purifying our flesh by renewing our minds with His kindness. (1 Corinthians 15:17/Hebrews 10:14/Romans 12:2,2:4)
Because the Spirit of God lives in you, you are never in the flesh, instead you are always in the spirit. God will never identify you by the flesh. (Romans 8:9/2 Corinthians 5:16)
Your new spirit has been created in the likeness of God. You truly are right with God. You were made righteous, pure, guiltless, innocent, faultless, and holy. (Ephesians 4:24)

By his divine power, God has already given us everything we need for life and godliness. All we have to do is discover and enjoy those things. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)
Do you want the riches of God's glory? Well the riches of God's glory is Christ in you! Jesus fills us with the hope of seeing God's glory unfolding throughout our lives. (Colossians 1:27)

Jesus abolished the Law of commandments contained in written rules. Those commands were against us & stood opposed to us. He took them away and nailed them to the cross (Colossians 2:14, Ephesians 2:15)
You cannot become righteous by keeping the commands in the scriptures. If you could then Christ died for nothing. Righteousness instead comes as a gift you receive from God by trusting in Christ. (Galatians 2:21/Philippians 3:9)
Trying to keep the law is like slavery & it is a burden too great for any person to bear, even the apostles & prophets of old. Christ set you free so you could stay free. Don't make yourselves slaves of the law by trying to keep the law. (Romans 7:6/Acts 15:10/Galatians 5:1)
You cannot be trying to keep the Law & be led by the Spirit of God at the same time. (Galatians 5:18)

Jesus says, "This is the will of God, that you trust Me so you can know Me forever." (John 6:40)
Jesus says, "The only work God wants from you is to trust in Me. Everything else flows from that." (John 6:28-29)
Love doesn't happen by us trying to love God. Love starts with God loving us & ends with us loving one another. (1 John 4:7-11)
Listen to God & value Him. You can be secure if you stop trying to make yourself feel secure. Instead of trusting yourself to bring about your own security know that it is God who works in you to desire & to act according to His heart's desire. His heart desires the best for you. (Philippians 2:12-13)

Do not let anyone condemn you by insisting on self-denial in the name of humility. (Colossians 2:18)
Rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, strict self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in stopping the harmful desires of the flesh. (Colossians 2:23)
You'll be happy if you don't condemn yourself by choosing what you think is good to do & bad to do. Trust God & then don't doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself you'll feel guilty. (Romans 14:22-23)
God's kingdom is not a place of demanding & forcing. God is a giver who rules over us by giving to us. He gives us freedom, purity, peace, & joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)
Satan cannot touch someone who is born of God. (1 John 5:18)

God does not live in buildings made by people (Acts 17:24)
We are God's House (Hebrews 3:6)
Jesus says, "You do not need to go anywhere to worship. If you do go somewhere to worship it is irrelevant because true worship is done in spirit and truth." (John 4:23)
Each person should give what he has decided in his own heart to give. He should neither give reluctantly nor give because he feels forced. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

The Lord God declares, "I myself will shepherd my sheep and give them rest." (Ezekiel 34:15)
Jesus says, "Do not be called leaders because you only have one leader, Christ." (Matthew 23:10)
Jesus says, "You shall not have authority over one another. You are all equal brothers." (Luke 22:25-26/Matthew 23:8)
Do nothing to seek an office for yourself but with humility of mind regard others as more important than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
All who are in Christ are equally in Him. (2 Corinthians 10:7)
You do not need anyone to teach you. The Spirit teaches you about all things. (1 John 2:27/John 16:13)
No person is to act as your judge in regards to what you do. God accepts all of His children. He died for all of them. Don't judge your brother, only be careful not to stand in his way or cause him to stumble. All of you have been made complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10,17/Romans 14:13,15)

Fearing the Truth

I don't have the impression that truth is dangerous & to be avoided. Are we to think that everyone that Paul wrote Romans & Corinthians to, or everyone Hebrews was written to, or everyone that 1 John was written to were all mature enough to "handle the truth"?

Paul said to the Romans "I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh" & he goes on to speak some of the most solid & amazing spiritual perfection language in all of scripture.

In 1 Corinthians Paul calls the people "babes" yet still hands out to them major things in 2 Corinthians such as "God is no longer charging people with sin" (5:19-20), & "we identify no one according to the flesh (5:16)."

2 Corinthians 5:16-20 isn't meat, it is as pure & simple as the gospel gets & Paul speaks of the new creation (spirit) in this same context.
"From now on we identify no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; look, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the service of reconciliation, which is that, "In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their (the world's) sins against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."'

Is it dangerous for people to pick up the bible and read it? How does the truth lead someone astray? Why would we rather put the light of the gospel & our new creation in Christ under a bushel OUT OF FEAR than we would shine it?

Are we to be afraid of God's perfect love which doesn't charge people with sin & makes His children born spiritually perfect? Or are we to be so afraid of sin, whose power Christ destroyed, that we hush up about the goodness of God? Are we to be more afraid of the power of the enemy to lead people astray with the truth than we are to trust in God that He will use the truth to set them free?

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who trusts" (Romans 1:16). I trust the power of the true gospel far more than I trust that the enemy can distort its results. False gospels ruin people. The true gospel makes people whole.

I've never seen a single person ruined by the God's honest truth. People who fear the truth of grace still bask in a self-righteous mindset. They think that people shouldn't be taught about Christ's righteousness given to us until they can "handle the truth" & not go out acting however they want. They are afraid that knowledge of grace will cause people to behave badly. So what if it does? Would you rather someone believe a lie & be ignorant of the truth & behave morally for a time or someone know the truth of God's love & behave immorally for a time? The first entrusts people to themselves and their own performance. The second entrusts people to God & the power of His truth. For whatever reason people are so afraid of someone "sinning" that they'd rather keep them in the dark instead of exposing them to the light of God's love, the same love that is the only thing that truly changes people.

Sola-Scriptura is Idolatry

Sola-Scriptura (scripture alone) is idolatry. We should never disregard scripture but disregarding the living God is much worse. Jesus didn't promise the scriptures as our teacher but the Spirit. Following the Spirit is not "going beyond what is written." It is written in John 16:13 "The Spirit will guide you into ALL truth."

While the scripture is good and true and useful Jesus didn't make a promise that scripture would guide us to truth. Notice how many people know the scripture but don't know truth (see 2 Timothy 3:7). When you ignore the living God, who lives in you, in favor of the scriptures and/or various preachers & teachers you will be led into lies that twist the scriptures into a lifeless religious prison.

Don't trust the bible more than you trust the living God. If you do then you will end up only being certain about your interpretation of scripture. When you are certain yet wrong your life will be miserable. This misplaced or imbalanced trust closes your heart to God bringing you the truth. Being sure is not the same thing as being assured by God.

"You don't need anyone to teach you what is true. The Spirit teaches you everything you need to know" (1 John 2:27).

Get truth from The Truth

Jesus said the Holy Spirit would lead us to ALL truth. That means there is no truth that we are lead to that doesn't have His involvement. It also means anywhere we think we've gotten truth where we can't recognize the involvement of the Spirit is worth calling into question. Preachers, teachers, authors, and even scripture we've learned from are worth our time taking to God to be taught by Him.

There is an untold amount of false & ignorant teachings & interpretations out there. Just because you are reading the bible doesn't mean it isn't being distorted through the lens you unwittingly look through. Turn to the Spirit of God before turning to the scriptures because it is unwise to wholly trust your interpretation of scripture. The Spirit may point you to the scriptures to teach you the truth and He may not. God is living and living inside of you. Trust Him more than what you've heard and speak with Him.

We Are Always Able to Grow in Truth

If someone thinks he knows something, he does not yet know to the degree that he needs to know. (1 Corinthians 8:2)
This means we never fully arrive at a truth from God in this life. There is always more to learn from God on any given thing and we should humbly learn from God.

I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. (2 Peter 1:12)
Peter knew the importance of God's truth and that even if we know and stand firm in the truth we still need to be constantly reminded of it. Because of the infinite value of God's truth we can always benefit from it in all ways.

In Context: "The truth will set you free."

What is often said: "The truth will set you free"

What the Bible actually says:
To the Jews who had trusted him, Jesus said, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." -John 8:31-32

So the truth just doesn't set me free.. I have to know it?

Well what is God's word?
God's word is truth -John 17:17

Well what is truth then?
Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." -John 14:6
So God's word is truth & Jesus is truth!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. -John 1:1,14
And Jesus is also the Word of God!

So If I continue in God's word/Jesus, then I am truly a disciple of Jesus; and I will know the truth (God's word/Jesus), and the truth (God's word/Jesus) will make me free.

What does that mean though?
Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4
So if my delight in the Lord my desire will be for more of Him.
So then continuing in God's truth allows me to know God more.

Let us look at this again
To the Jews who had trusted him, Jesus said, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." -John 8:31-32

So this was written to those who trusted Jesus. So I can't continue in His word if I don't trust Him & I can't be His true disciple if I don't continue in His word. If I don't trust Him that means I don't trust the truth and if I don't trust the truth which is God's word I will not continue in it & I can't be His true disciple and won't be set free.
It's like a big circle. I can't trust God if I don't know the truth & if I don't know the truth which is God's word then I won't continue in it but if I don't continue in it I won't know the truth.

So those who trust Him will continue in His word & be His true disciples & those are the only ones who are set free.

Free from what?
The wages of sin is death -Romans 6:23
Jesus said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." -John 8:34-36

Ok free from being slaves to sin but how?
He Himself (Jesus) bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. -1 Peter 2:24

But is that it just being free from being a slave to sin?
Now that you have been set free from sin and have become servants to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. -Romans 6:22