Shame is when you have a self-pity party after you've done something bad to someone instead of caring about that person's heart. If you make your negative behavior more about how good of a person you think you are, about your growth or lack of it, or about how much you sin you have utterly missed love. The very concept of having sin & sinning causes you to look at yourself more than you look at those your actions affect. That is why sin consciousness (counting your sins, counting other people's sins, labeling actions as sins) is a terrible thing. It makes you beat yourself up, beat others up, & believe that God wants to beat everybody up.
Sin consciousness is living by the knowledge of good & evil. If you live that way you beat yourself up with guilt, shame, hatred, & fear for what you think is wrong. You abuse others verbally, you dehumanize them & maybe even demonize them because you think they are "wrong" & anything that is "wrong" is evil regardless of how small or unimpactful it is. You believe God does the same thing. You, whether you'd admit it aloud or not, believe God wants you to hate yourself & hate others for doing wrong & believing wrong things. Here's a Good News Flash for you! God doesn't count anyone's sins on this entire planet, He doesn't charge a single one of us with sin. He does however, like a loving father with his child sitting on his lap, count every hair on our heads.
Yes there are still harmful things out there, of course it is still possible to be wrong about things & do wrong things. Go to Jesus, the tree of life, to know what to believe & do. Most of the correction that people offer is based either in pride or in fear. If you're angry at a person you're correcting in pride. If you're angry at what is harming the person, hoping to free them from it you're correcting in love. Just because someone is wrong doesn't mean now is the right time to correct them. Ask God what to do. Better yet start off by asking God if you are wrong.
Father's want their children to know how to live life, to be safe, successful, & satisfied. Look through the lens of life, the spiritual lens of Jesus. You can be wrong about what is wrong & even wrong about what is right. Throw out your piece of paper that lists everything that is good & bad. Ask your Father to teach you the truth about life. We love playing genius & idiot at the same time. Playing the genius who needs to teach everyone else how to live then playing the self-pitying idiot when we screw up. Throw away all of your labels for yourself & others & just BE a son or a daughter. Trust that your Father is awesome. Not the religiously scary awesome that has been shoved down our throats, or get real, willingly chugged by ourselves. No, I'm talking true awesomeness. Trust that your Father is awesome at being YOUR Father.